Real programmers don't comment their code.  It was hard to write, it
should be hard to understand.
(no date)
%
We interrupt this fortune for an important announcement...
(no date)
%
Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
(no date)
%
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
(no date)
%
..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar.  Believe me.
I speak from experience."
(By Matt Welsh)
(Sun Oct 18 09:42:30 SELČ 2026)
%
Tech support excuse #345:
Having to manually track the satellite.
(Sun Oct 18 12:12:27 SELČ 2026)
%
A crow perched himself on a telephone wire.  He was going to make a long-distance caw.
(Mon Oct 19 17:04:48 SELČ 2026)
%
The real reason psychology is hard is that psychologists are trying to do the impossible.
(Wed Oct 21 01:17:21 SELČ 2026)
%
Tech support excuse #115:
your keyboard's space bar is generating spurious keycodes.
(Wed Oct 21 03:26:18 SELČ 2026)
%
Tech support excuse #23:
improperly oriented keyboard
(Thu Oct 22 00:07:53 SELČ 2026)
%
Running Windows on a Pentium is like having a brand new Porsche but only be able to drive backwards with the handbrake on.
(Unknown source)
(Thu Oct 22 13:48:55 SELČ 2026)
%
NOTICE:

-- THE ELEVATORS WILL BE OUT OF ORDER TODAY --

(The nearest working elevator is in the building across the street.)
(Thu Oct 22 14:07:35 SELČ 2026)
%
"Shelter," what a nice name for for a place where you polish your cat.
(Sat Oct 24 16:30:27 SELČ 2026)
%
	A novice programmer was once assigned to code a simple financial package.
	The novice worked furiously for many days, but when his master reviewed his program, he discovered that it contained a screen editor, a set of generalized graphics routines, and artificial intelligence interface, but not the slightest mention of anything financial.
	When the master asked about this, the novice became indignant. 
"Don't be so impatient," he said, "I'll put the financial stuff in eventually."
		-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
(Sat Oct 24 17:05:40 SELČ 2026)
%
X windows:
	It's not how slow you make it.  It's how you make it slow.
	The windowing system preferred by masochists 3 to 1.
	Built to take on the world... and lose!
	Don't try it 'til you've knocked it.
	Power tools for Power Fools.
	Putting new limits on productivity.
	The closer you look, the cruftier we look.
	Design by counterexample.
	A new level of software disintegration.
	No hardware is safe.
	Do your time.
	Rationalization, not realization.
	Old-world software cruftsmanship at its finest.
	Gratuitous incompatibility.
	Your mother.
	THE user interference management system.
	You can't argue with failure.
	You haven't died 'til you've used it.  The environment of today... tomorrow!
	X windows.
(Sat Oct 24 22:44:34 SELČ 2026)
%
The three best things about going to school are June, July, and August.
(Sat Oct 24 23:05:22 SELČ 2026)
%
"The C Programming Language -- A language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language."
(Sat Oct 24 23:44:35 SELČ 2026)
%
Real computer scientists don't write code.  They occasionally tinker with `programming systems', but those are so high level that they hardly count  (and rarely count accurately; precision is for applications).
(Sun Oct 25 07:11:14 SEČ 2026)
%
Given sufficient time, what you put off doing today will get done by itself.
(Sun Oct 25 07:19:03 SEČ 2026)
%
The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them is a match.
		-- Will Rogers
(Mon Oct 26 04:04:35 SEČ 2026)
%
It is so very hard to be an 
on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you
grown-up.
(Mon Oct 26 22:16:05 SEČ 2026)
%
All parts should go together without forcing.  You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you.  Therefore, if you can't get them together again, there must be a reason.  By all means, do not use a hammer.
		-- IBM maintenance manual, 1925
(Mon Oct 26 22:22:46 SEČ 2026)
%
"Of course, in Perl culture, almost nothis is prohibited. My feeling is that the rest of the world already has plenty of perfectly good prohibitions, so why invent more?"

  -- Larry Wall (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)
(Mon Oct 26 22:46:08 SEČ 2026)
%
It's all in the mind, ya know.
(Tue Oct 27 00:21:44 SEČ 2026)
%
"World domination.  Fast"
(By Linus Torvalds)
(Tue Oct 27 22:59:07 SEČ 2026)
%
I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
(Tue Oct 27 23:09:22 SEČ 2026)
%
Save energy:  Drive a smaller shell.
(Wed Oct 28 01:04:29 SEČ 2026)
%
"Shelter," what a nice name for for a place where you polish your cat.
(Wed Oct 28 23:39:39 SEČ 2026)
%
To err is human,
To purr feline.
		-- Robert Byrne
(Wed Oct 28 23:47:15 SEČ 2026)
%
Vanilla wafer.
(Thu Oct 29 04:24:36 SEČ 2026)
%
"There are a billion people in China. And I want them to be able to pass notes to each other written in Perl. I want them to be able to write poetry in Perl. 

That is my vision of the Future. My chosen perspective."

  -- Larry Wall (Open Sources, 1999 O'Reilly and Associates)
(Thu Oct 29 14:55:57 SEČ 2026)
%
Tech support excuse #184:
loop found in loop in redundant loopback
(Fri Oct 30 20:29:45 SEČ 2026)